Give me words
Because I can’t read actions
Give me words
Because I can’t turn the pages on the hours of the day
I guess that’s just my way
In the deepest part of the woods
where the sunlight barely hits the flowers
yet somehow they still grow
Where you close your eyes to hear the speaking silence
and the wind writes down its verses as it blows
Hidden in a hollow of the prettiest leaves
That is where my heart lies.
Not hidden, but held.
because though my mind is chaos
and my skin is scarred
my heart is still.
for it’s held by a love that transforms the strangest places into the most enchanted.
and it’s been taught that even when our beats are silent, they are still heard.
Happy New Year!!!!
I can’t believe 2014 is basically over. How crazy is that.
Its like when you’re reading the last page in a book and its either a really fast wrap up, or a cliff hanger.
Are you ready?
Because I am.
I have so many good things that I will be able to share with you guys in 2015. I can’t wait to start. But today, lets focus on us for a few seconds.
As previous years, once again I encourage writing a resolution list with only ONE RESOLUTION.
-To take everything you learned from 2014, and apply it to 2015.
I did that this year, and while in a few cases I might have tripped over the same rock, in others I can say I was pretty proud of myself.
Not to mention that now, the end of the year is here, and instead of being sad because I realize I didn’t fulfill any of my past resolutions (like go skydiving, learn a new language, get on a helicopter, be fit, etc.) I am extremely satisfied with how I fulfilled my one personal goal. Besides, isn’t learning what our past is there for in the first place? This is a way of motivating yourself to use it not as a tear-jerker but as a booster.
For some, you might be entering this new year sad, or just not knowing what to expect. I was there last year. It didn’t really make a difference to me if it was Jan 1st, or Jan 20th. I had no hopes or excitement for the new year. If that’s you then, this resolution can still count. Go into the unknown prepared and open to any possibilities while knowing how you might deal with them. Plus the year might surprise you in a BIG way. I know mine did.
Here are my favorite 5 accomplishments:
– I GOT A JOOOOB. Living in New York and looking for a job for two years, omg, this makes me almost cry. Shoutout if ya’ feel me! Not just a job, but one I absolutely love.
– I hugged more. I’m kind of awkward and avoid physical contact as much as I can, which can often result in people not feeling I show enough care or love I guess. But this year I think I did a pretty good job at giving random love here and there and being more open tot he idea of wrapping your arms around people and using that as a sign of affection.
– I fell in love with Journalism again. When I started the year I was a bit worried about my career choices. I wondered if I was on the right path. Through my most recent semester at school, and through my new job, I have learned so much more about what a huge world there is in Journalism. I fell in love with it all over again. Writing really is my lover.
– I learned to be myself more and make new friends because of it. When you have a really interesting personality, its easy to be scared of showing I guess, your “true colors”. So you might decide to be reserved with new people, until you trust them enough to just be yourself. Well, this year with a few new friends I made, I decided to just be my person from day 1. And to my surprise, I am now starting to get very close to them.
– My favorite: I got closer to God. In my own way. So this is hard to explain. I mean we all have different understandings of how our relationships are. But, yeah, its awesome.
Have an amazing celebration night guys.
You know how to reach me if you want to.
Love, Coffee, and Champagne,
Be still my soul and rest
Humbly I confess,
in my weakness your strength is perfect
For You alone are God, there will be no other
And You have won my heart more than any other
So I will give it all ’cause you gave it all for me
Be still my heart and know
You are God alone
Stop thinking stop thinking so much
and just let go
Be Still by Bethel Music
(Song was better at explaining my thoughts than myself. Sharing some love as the year ends. New post coming soon.
Hugs and Coffee,
“I see endless possibilities. I see fear, but at the same time confidence. Excitement, plus care. And its all hiding under a shade of light brown that gets lighter indoors and smaller when you smile. Thats what I see.” – C
The second best day of my life,
as narrated by Keilly Fernandez
Currently listening to : Blame by Calvin Harris
I used to be such a scaredy cat. Whatever mom and dad said was what I did. Why cross the line? I would rather play it safe.
Then summer 2010 happened.
It was the first time my sister and I made an international trip on our own. I was 16, she was 17. It felt awesome.
Don’t get excited, we were just going to New Jersey to spend a summer with my mom’s family. At least, save the excitement for later.
So days go by and rain ruins most of our stay, but my two cousins, one my age and one a year younger, still find ways to keep us entertained.
After 2 days stuck inside hiding from pouring rain, the sky gave us a break so we had the brilliant idea of going out for a walk.
I didn’t know where we were headed to, but they seemed excited so I guessed it was a cool place. We jump over a fence that was in the backyard of a someone who today i still don’t know. My cousins said they know them. Funny since we were still all whispering as we went through it.
My jeans and white sneakers start getting muddy as we hold on to trees and branches trying to slide down an awkward slope that led to God knows where.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get creepier, we come to a point where we had to balance on 3 inch rocks to walk across a small river. Yes. I fell. I was now wet. Muddy. and scared.
Yes, this is still the second best day of my life.
A few complaints and scratches later, we get to a slope, which of course we slide down, and to my surprise land on train tracks.
“This is it! We’re here!”, says the cousin my age.
All that, so stare at train tracks. wow.
So we start throwing rocks and playing music, when out of no where we hear a loud and clear honk.
The train was coming.
“Shit! run! they can’t see us or the call the cops!”
They start heading down the tracks, and climb up pretty fast. not the same for my sister and I who struggled getting up the mud without sliding right back down.
My cousin jumps back in the slope and tells us to just lay down against the slope.
If you are wondering, yes, I was about to pee myself.
And then it came.
One second it was far, the next it was right in front of me. I could stretch my arm out and it might have touched it.
All my adrenaline kicks in, unaware that my location guarantees I will be fine.
I never felt more in control of my surroundings.
I was serene.
Everything in me felt cold,
but my eyes could still see every detail on the train that was rushing right in front of my eyes at full speed.
It was that icy feeling you get when you’re nervous that takes over your stomach.
When you ride a roller coaster and the free fall part arrives.
When you want to scream but you don’t remember how because you’ve lost your voice.
I felt everything,
even though I touched nothing.
I didn’t move,
but I felt like I was moved.
It was amazing.
And then it was gone.
but I wasn’t afraid.
“Keilly lets go!”
they pull me up and we start running back to the house. We all cram into a corner when the police patrol car strolls by. They might not even have been looking for us. But hiding was part of the story.
We got home and had french fries with chicken nuggets for dinner.
It was as if nothing had happened that day.
But for me,
“I don’t know what the future holds for me. And I’d like to keep it that way.”